There is a song that says "Momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this, my momma said..." Those days have turned into a couple of decades now. But my momma never said that. I don't remember her saying anything about the days that would come. Now she says she is sorry that the days have looked like this.
The problem for me seems to be that I feel stuck between doing what is good for my family & doing what would be good for me. What if they are actually one & the same? I may have seen the obstacle all this time, but should have seen the same situation as a blessing. That is merely a shift in perspective that removes the obstacle. This is what I am learning to be true of so many of my conflicts- both with myself & with others. The BIG question is.... "how do I need to shift my perspective in order to make peace with myself & others?" It takes me out of self-centeredness. It also takes me out of self-criticism. The mind can go crazy with too much thinking about what they are thinking & what do I think about what they are thinking? That is a destructive way to live. It leads to paranoia! This may even be the root of all the divisive political haggling & the religious extremes.
It is also one thing to realize a truth & quite another to live that truth!