INSPIRED

......by repose. As I sit this morning on my small 10 x 12 ft lanai on a sunny southern California morning, I am struck by how easy it is to be at peace in this small corner of living. The trees in front of me are filled with tiny birds that flutter around making very little noise. My favorite curiosity, the humming bird, has also swept in adding to my sense of joy. The sky is an endless expanse of indescribable blue. For such a humble little place of dwelling my open air theater offers a lot to admire.

The simplicity of nature & the fact that it is always free (except when men take POSSESSION of it) is a great example of the goodness of God. The truest sense of living comes from creation. This includes the greatness that can be found in a friend who gives their most honest self. Relationships with people are part of inspired living. I believe more than anything else that God is Love. This is a very simple conclusion but it is one that I have suffered a lot to find as my true North. It is the only compass I have to this day to live by. Love & relationships, Beauty & inspiration are the reality of this life. All the rest is distraction.

Happiness in a moment

Really, now is all that we have to make happiness happen. In this instance, now is a noun. It is a tangible experience with a concrete result. The result is peace & contentment with the expression of a smile. Today the now took place while I was riding my bike up the hill from downtown Dana Point. I looked up to see the eucalyptus tree I was smelling and was delighted to see a butterfly floating above me swirling inside the fragrance. The sun at my back warmed me thoroughly and the memory of the ocean view I was cycling away from still fresh. The promise of a beautiful day sits in front of me waiting to be embraced.

Obstacles

There are more of them than open doors. Rarely, do we find in life, a door wide open that we did not have to really search for. Sometimes the searching goes on for so long that we loose sight of what it was we were looking for to begin with. I don't know what it would be like to not have to struggle. It seems that I have been doing that longer than I have ever had the opportunity to just sit back & feel free to let life happen.

There is a song that says "Momma said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this, my momma said..." Those days have turned into a couple of decades now. But my momma never said that. I don't remember her saying anything about the days that would come. Now she says she is sorry that the days have looked like this.

The problem for me seems to be that I feel stuck between doing what is good for my family & doing what would be good for me. What if they are actually one & the same? I may have seen the obstacle all this time, but should have seen the same situation as a blessing. That is merely a shift in perspective that removes the obstacle. This is what I am learning to be true of so many of my conflicts- both with myself & with others. The BIG question is.... "how do I need to shift my perspective in order to make peace with myself & others?" It takes me out of self-centeredness. It also takes me out of self-criticism. The mind can go crazy with too much thinking about what they are thinking & what do I think about what they are thinking? That is a destructive way to live. It leads to paranoia! This may even be the root of all the divisive political haggling & the religious extremes.

It is also one thing to realize a truth & quite another to live that truth!

Agnostic

If I don't know what kind of God HE is, does that make me agnostic? I don't have any answers. I don't know how much to believe that God acts on our behalf or how much he choses to intervene. I don't know what part of the ingredients of life are made up of faith & how much are made up of personal initiative. Is there a magical equation? Some people of the Christian faith like to make life a magical equation. If I do this then, then THIS will happen. If I don't do THAT, then that will happen. So what happens when the equations don't come up with the same answers? Life is unpredictable. God is not completely knowable. I am simply okay with that. It leaves me wondering though. How much of God is knowable? I know, I know.....everyone is sure about all His rules. This is all that some know about HIM. I even question their confidence in that set of absolutes.

I see absolute in the sunset. I see it in the stars. I hear it in the chirping cricket that sits near me at night. I feel it in the breeze that blows softly by the tender skin of my cheeks. I hear it in the Truth of a pure heart of the one who sits beside me telling their story honestly. HE is knowable in the Universe... but He remains a mystery. I cannot cage and capture the spirit of God.